How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
