Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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