The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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