I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
