Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
