Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize