Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
