I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
why do cheetos always look like penises
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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