let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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