this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
