Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
