And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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