Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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