You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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