was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
