Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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