New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
