I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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