There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
