Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
