so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
