Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
