Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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