just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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