Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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