I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
