I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm really busy with my period
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