Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
