I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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