Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
