Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There's always time for handjobs
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
