We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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