remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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