Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
