making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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