whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
