Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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