You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I need moral support for this bender
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
