i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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