ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
