I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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