Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
