i always forget guys have bellybuttons
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
