i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
