Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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