He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I understand Curling. That high.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
