I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
