I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
