in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
