I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
