He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
