Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
