Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
