Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
