So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
