awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize