after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
