I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Randomize
