Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
